What to Do When Your Girlfriend Is Upset With You
No matter how perfect you treat your girlfriend, there are still some days when you mess up and she gets mad at you.
Say you forgot that tonight was supposed to be date night. Say you greeted your ex happy birthday. Oops. Now you have her all riled up and upset.
Whatever the reason, you need to apologize to her.
For women, saying “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again”, won’t cut it. You’re saying the right words, but what she wants is more than just verbal repentance.
So instead of just apologizing, here are other things you can do to prove your apology is sincere and repair the cracks in your relationship:
Recognize that You Hurt Her and Give Her Space to Heal
You need to realize one thing: once she’s hurt, this isn’t about you at all. So instead of trying to explain why you disagree with her or why she should cut you some slack, just swallow your pride and give her space.
The truth of the matter is what she feels is hurt. That’s all she feels and all she can think about. She can’t think about what a great guy you are. She can’t digest the fact that you might have a point. She’s hurt, and that’s all she cares about. So give her time to process that hurt.
She needs breathing room for self-reflection and from you, so give her space to think. It could also help that you self-reflect as well. Giving yourselves some space allows you both to compose yourselves and your thoughts. In order for you to be ready to talk again, you both need to calm down and clear your heads.
Truly Say You’re Sorry
When you say you are sorry, you have to be totally sincere about it. It has to come from your heart and not just be an involuntary motion, like saying God bless when someone sneezes.
Even if she does not want to talk to you, you still have to make an effort to admit,
“You are right, I did something to hurt you and I’m truly sorry for that.”
Saying you’re sorry shouldn’t come with an explanation. Not yet at least. So don’t say “I’m sorry, but…”
Your goal shouldn’t be to win the argument. Instead, it should be to make amends at all costs, your ego included.
Let Her Vent Out
If what you did causes her to overreact, scream at the top of her lungs, or rant till the sun goes down, then let her have it. Do not talk back or try to blame her for what you did wrong.
Her venting might make you very uncomfortable and even make you angry, but swallow your pride. Your relationship is all that matters.
If you do have to answer or if she asks you to explain yourself, do so calmly. She will probably understand your side of the story a whole lot better. But do not make excuses!
If she vents out just to rant and let out her frustration, just let her be. Let her know you understand by nodding your head and admitting you understand her reacting that way.
Let Me Show You That I’m Sorry
For some women, a simple apology is not enough. You have to prove it with actions. You need to make up for it.
Actions speak louder than words. If you did something wrong, don’t do it again. Simple as that.
It could take a while until she sees the changes in you, but she will notice and be glad for it. Because she will realize that you care for the relationship. You care for her.
Disagreements and fights will always happen. Sometimes it will be her fault, sometimes it will be yours.
But remember, your job isn’t to win the argument. It’s to uphold the relationship. So while you may be tempted to retaliate from time to time, think of the long term. It sucks to put your pride and ego aside, especially if you don’t think what you did was a big deal. But your efforts will pay dividends.
Just like pulling weeds from plants so that they can grow, we have to also find our relationship weeds and pull them out, so that our relationship can grow.
