She’s Not into You, She’s Simply Breadcrumbing You

Ever felt like you’re being led on? You might be experiencing the newest brutal modern dating trend — breadcrumbing.

What is breadcrumbing?

According to a licensed therapist, Dr. Dana McNeil, “Breadcrumbing is a behavior in which one partner essentially gives the other partner just enough energy, time, attention, affection, or words of affirmation that provide some of the elements of being in a romantic relationship.”

In other words, it is a form of manipulation and emotional abuse.

These people don’t want a relationship; they only want attention. They will make you think that they’re interested in you, but they will never make any real effort. They will simply leave you with crumbs of attention to keep you hooked and wanting more.

Why do they do it?

There is no scientific explanation available for why breadcrumbing happens. However, some behavioral analysts and dating experts have their assumptions. These include:

1. These people love the attention — Narcissistic individuals love the idea of people thinking of them 24/7. By leaving breadcrumbs of attention, you are left wondering what they want from you — which leads to you thinking about them more often.
2. They are afraid of commitment — There’s a possibility that these people truly like you but are afraid to fully commit. It may be due to self-esteem issues or past relationship traumas. However, they would rather lead you on than work through those issues.
3. They have a scarcity mindset — These people don’t want to be left alone. They are afraid that if they cut ties with you, they won’t be able to find someone else. This is why they have other people besides you — their backup plans, just in case you leave them.

What are the signs?

Here are the most common signs that indicate someone is breadcrumbing you:

1. They are sending you mixed signals — Their actions are inconsistent. They will communicate with you for a few days, then ghost you afterward, and they will do this again and again. It becomes a pattern of a hot and cold approach that makes you wonder about their intention.
2. They are sending unclear messages — These people are vague with their approach. They will repeatedly send meaningless messages. Worst of all, your conversation will only be about surface-level topics.
3. They don’t make enough effort — These people don’t want to commit. They might make you feel that you’re important to them. However, they won’t exert any real effort. Likewise, whenever you need them, they are always unavailable.
4. They’re only interested in sex — These people are manipulative. They will make you think that they are romantically interested but will ghost you after they’ve gotten what they really want from you.

What should you do?

Breadcrumbing is an emotional rollercoaster. These people are essentially manipulating your emotions into thinking that they are into you when they aren’t. They only love the attention you give them, nothing more.

It’s best to walk away from this situation because these people do not care about you — they only care about themselves.You deserve better. You are worth more than a few breadcrumbs.