Don’t Settle for Someone Who Treats You as a Second Choice

I was feeling a bit nostalgic the other day, so I turned up some old classics and put them on speaker.

One line in a song caught my interest so much I couldn’t stop thinking about it the entire day.

“Second best is never enough” — from the song “Express Yourself” by Madonna.

To sum it up, the entire song was all about how you should never settle for second best and to allow your partner to express themselves. It was mainly written from the perspective of a woman, but I do believe that men relate to this song as well.

When it comes to online dating, men struggle significantly more than women.

Women are estimated to have 160% more matches and receive 1250% more messages than men.

My clients often bring this up whenever they feel doubtful about our matchmaking service. They are hesitant to give online dating a go because of their previous experiences.

Their exes would make them feel as though they meant the world to them. In reality, they were just a backup plan in case things didn’t work out with their first choice.

There is a perfectly good term for this modern dating trend — benching. This is when you don’t date someone seriously but keep them on the “bench” for your own convenience.

Some people bench because they want to make sure they’re choosing the right person.

They do it because they like playing around with other people’s feelings.

Whatever the case is, these people are not the kind you want to be dating. You have to set the record straight if you feel like you’re dating a bencher.

And to borrow some wisdom from a pop song from the 80s: “Don’t go for second best”

How to Make Better Dating Choices as a Man

Men are less particular about what they look for in a girlfriend. Women, on the other hand, have a mental checklist of what qualities and characteristics they look for in a guy.

But why is it that women are a lot successful in dating? Men aren’t very picky with their choices, wouldn’t that mean the odds should be in their favor?

Because women are a lot more picky with their choices, it’s easier for them to find a partner they really want.

So if you want to find someone who will treat you right, be more specific in your dating choices.

Don’t just settle for any woman who gives you an ounce of attention. Get to know them better before making any judgments. If they don’t have what you want in a partner, then move on to the next.

It’s also important to know your deal-breakers. Is the girl you’re dating expecting you to always read her mind? Does she make fun of the things that you like?

Don’t be afraid to drop someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries. They will be a threat to your happiness. They don’t deserve to have a place in your future at all.

Put yourself first. It’s selfish, but necessary. How else are you going to protect your happiness?

Most importantly, choose to be with someone who puts you first. Someone who can set aside some time for you. Someone who thinks of you even when you are far apart.

Never settle for less. Finding the right partner will be much easier.